Wednesday, January 31, 2007

May the Force be With You, Even in Your Sleep

I once read that there is nothing on this Earth more boring than listening to someone else describe the dream they had the previous night. I never really thought about it that way, but it sounds right. Whenever I describe a dream to a friend, I’m as detailed as possible in order to communicate the wild events, as well as the emotional effects that it had on me. Stunningly, this “friend” always seems to be only feigning interest until the misery is over. Sometimes, possibly as revenge, they start describing the dream they had the previous night. This is usually a convenient time for me to discover that I’m late for an appointment. Or that I need a nap.

So loyal readers, this is your last warning: I’m about to describe the dream I had last night. Seriously…turn away now!

You simple fools. I knew you couldn’t walk away. You’ve already committed to reading the first paragraph of this tripe, so now you are going to read about my dream. I’ll spare you the details, and get right to the “meat” of it. Anyway, I was using my Snowspeeder as cover as I aimed my blaster at the gunner of the evil Imperial AT-AT Walker and—

Um, wait. I guess I should tell you, in my dream I was Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. Sorry if I left out that small detail.

You know, I have no idea how dreams work or why we dream certain things, but I gotta tell you, this dream was fun. I had a laser blaster and was firing at a rear gunner on an Imperial AT-AT Walker while hiding behind a snow drift (in the real Star Wars movies, there was no rear gunner on an AT-AT…apparently my dreams are even more imaginative than creator George Lucas). He had just blown my Snowspeeder to smithereens with his laser cannon. I was seriously ticked. And a little scared.

Which is kind of confusing, because a part of me knew it was a movie. The reason I know this is because I vividly remember my last line in the dream. I swear I am not making this up. I had just run around the corner of something and saw a bad guy. I immediately fired my laser blaster at him, and he fell to the ground. Then I yelled:

“HEY! I only had it set to ‘stun’ so you can be in the sequel!!!”

So he got up and ran off.

I think I need to place a phone call to Lucas now.