Now that I am part-way to my stated goal of Global Blogging Domination, I've decided that my blog needs a "tagline"—that is, a catchphrase that also advertises it. I have thought of a few that I think have a nice ring to it, but I would appreciate it if you, the Loyal Reader, would help me decide which one I should use.
Jim Gaffigan's favorite blog!!*
Published in countless newspapers, magazines, and journals!!**
Often compared to Dave Barry!!***
Pulitzer Prize finalist in 2005 and 2006!!****
If you read a single blog that doesn't make you laugh, I'll pay you $100 in COLD HARD CASH!!*****
Again, PLEASE DON'T READ BELOW THIS PARAGRAPH. There is simply no reason to...it's just ho hum boring legal mumbo jumbo. Anyway, these are the best taglines I can think of. Please let me know what you think! Or offer one of your own! I could use the help. What are your ideas for a tagline?
* Not the comedian. James Gaffigan, a retired drywall subcontractor from Stillwater,
** As long as you define "countless" as "the inability to count the number zero".
*** The comparison usually goes, "Dave Barry is phenomenally funny. Who the hell is Slow Joe?"
**** Eliminated in the round where the selection committee called Security to remove me, screaming, from their premises, and told me for 14th time not to come around anymore.
***** No I won't. I don't think I even have $100.
****** Now I'm really reaching. I think this is actually a sexual fantasy.
******* Missing text: "…can make you physically ill. Afterwards, a trip to the ER…"