Now that I am part-way to my stated goal of Global Blogging Domination, I've decided that my blog needs a "tagline"—that is, a catchphrase that also advertises it. I have thought of a few that I think have a nice ring to it, but I would appreciate it if you, the Loyal Reader, would help me decide which one I should use.
Jim Gaffigan's favorite blog!!*
Published in countless newspapers, magazines, and journals!!**
Often compared to Dave Barry!!***
Pulitzer Prize finalist in 2005 and 2006!!****
If you read a single blog that doesn't make you laugh, I'll pay you $100 in COLD HARD CASH!!*****
Endorsed by
"
Again, PLEASE DON'T READ BELOW THIS PARAGRAPH. There is simply no reason to...it's just ho hum boring legal mumbo jumbo. Anyway, these are the best taglines I can think of. Please let me know what you think! Or offer one of your own! I could use the help. What are your ideas for a tagline?
* Not the comedian. James Gaffigan, a retired drywall subcontractor from Stillwater,
** As long as you define "countless" as "the inability to count the number zero".
*** The comparison usually goes, "Dave Barry is phenomenally funny. Who the hell is Slow Joe?"
**** Eliminated in the round where the selection committee called Security to remove me, screaming, from their premises, and told me for 14th time not to come around anymore.
***** No I won't. I don't think I even have $100.
****** Now I'm really reaching. I think this is actually a sexual fantasy.
Dear Sir,
ReplyDeleteI represent Mr. James Gaffigan. We demand that you remove the reference to Mr. Gaffigan and any claim that Mr. Gaffigan endorses your work in any way.
His association with material of this caliber will serve to diminish Mr. Gaffigan's comedic reputation and thus lower his income.
If you do not remove the offending references within 7 days, we will have no alternative but to file suit in Lee County Circuit Court to compel you to remove them and recover damages.
Sincerely,
Domenic J. Valentine, Esq.