I can't sleep.
You're probably thinking, "Well, lazy
ass, quit trying when it's 4PM." Well, where I am, it's NOT 4PM, it's
5AM. Or, 0500. And maybe you shouldn't be such a smartass. How many
times have YOU crossed the International Date Line, dipshit?
I get a little testy when I can't sleep. And yes: I'm out of the
country. WAY out of the country. Like, I'm going to have to double
check to make sure I'm still on Earth. I traveled for a miserable day
and a half before I finally landed on the Pearl of the Orient, the
Philippines. I'm excited to finally be here, but it IS the opposite end
of the planet. While you all are still in daylight, working and
whatever, I'm sitting around doing nothing in darkness. So nothing has
Haha! I'm such a funny humorous
knee-slapping jokester when I've slept six hours over three days. I'm
here because half my family tree lives here, and I don't hardly know any
of them. I have a LOT of cousins, aunts, and uncles here, and I'm
asking that they all wear name tags. I met some of them for dinner last
night. I nearly fell asleep in my chicken soup.
so far I'm having a good time, but the jet lag is killing me. I'm going
to crawl back into bed and try to get normalized now, but I'm not
optimistic. I'm making a lot of notes, so hopefully I'll get some
killer material out of this. I better get something out of this trip.
Maybe I'll bring home a wife. There are a ton of hotties over here.
I'm with my mom and my sister, who lives in Ohio. Since my sister
drove down to Florida with her husband, he is staying at my house while
I'm gone. So all you bastards looking to steal my 1989 GE tube TV
because I'm out of town, seriously: Buy him beer and he'll probably let
you have it. Make it a Guinness and he'll probably help you find stuff.