If you followed a link from twitter or facebook to this piece, there is an excellent chance you have no idea what the above title refers to. And that’s okay. My fault, really. You’re not the lazy ass that constantly abandons blogs.
You see, this place is where it all began for me. On December 10th, 2005, on my way to my parents’ house for breakfast, I ran out of gas and had to call my dad to come get me. I was pissed, of course, but in some detached portion of my brain, I was laughing at myself hysterically. I decided I had to share the experience somehow. And since I was (and still am) such a fan of Dave Barry’s humor columns, I decided to open up a Blogger account and post my first-ever humor column on the experience.
It got a tremendous response. And by “tremendous response” I mean that nobody read it. I had to beg people to go to my blog. I had several phone conversations like this:
My sister Lori: Hello?
Me: Hey sis. I started a blog, and wrote an essay I’m really proud of. Could you take a look at it?
Lori: Sure! No problem. I’ll get right to it.
Me: No, I mean, right now.
Lori: Oh, look, I have another call…
But, amazingly enough, in time I built up a pretty strong readership, with several hundred hits every time I posted a new blog. So I made sure to leverage that popularity in the only I way I knew how: abandonment. It was amazingly stupid, because getting a following is difficult, but I guess I just felt so much pressure to be funny that I had to step away.
Since that time, I’ve had two MySpace blogs, a Tumblr blog, and a standup comedy career begin to blossom. I decided a few weeks ago I really need to start blogging again just to keep my wit sharp, and, of course, to update my friends and fans as to how everything is going. So, what better place than my original blog?
So here I am. I’m not exactly sure how this is going to go, but I can give you an educated guess. My initial instinct is to blog rather consistently, like 3-4 times per week, but instead of long humor essays like I used to, I’ll be posting shorter updates, based heavily on my standup. Of course, I know myself. The updates will probably turn into long essays. But if that happens, it happens. At least it will be good, funny content.
It feels good to be home.