Tuesday, April 19, 2011

So, uh, this is it…

It took about two days, but my new(ish) website and blog are just about complete.  I’ve known I’ve needed a web presence for a long time, but there’s a lengthy list of reasons why I had not gotten it done:

1. Websites cost money.

Okay, so maybe “lengthy list” was a slight overstatement.  Call me a cheap ass*, but I’ve adapted nicely to the prevalent Internet marketing thought that every online product or service should be free.  I have no idea why.  I think we’ve all just gotten used to it.  Facebook, twitter, Gmail, Google Documents, blah blah blah are all somehow available at no charge.

* You wouldn’t be the first.

How the hell do they do it?  Everyone says facebook is worth like seven billion dollars, yet I haven’t the slightest clue how they make a single dime.  Do they actually print money?  Are they running whorehouses on the side?   Do they produce snuff films in third world countries?

No matter, I’ve been spoiled by this, so I hate paying for anything web-related.  Then along comes weebly.com to save the day.  Seriously, if you want to build a simple, free website without knowing any coding whatsoever, give them a shot.  And no, I’m not being paid for the plug.

In fact, I’m not being paid for any of this crap.  I need to figure out how the hell those damn websites are doing it.  Maybe they’re making it up.  Maybe one day I’ll just post on here that my website is worth eleven trillion dollars.  Yes!  Then I’ll have an Initial Public Offering of stock, raise millions of dollars, and then begin an advanced business process I’ll call Getting the Fuck Out of the Country With the Loot.  Hey, it almost worked for Enron.

Okay, where was I?  Oh, this website.  As you can tell for the menu above, this website will be a catch-all for everything I’m doing related to entertainment.  I have a few more videos to put up, but I’ll be honest here and say, like most every comic, I’ll never have a lot.  If you want to see the standup, you have to come see me.  I’ve got to make my money somehow!

I’m also going to start recording podcasts soon.  They’ll be an hour long, and I’ll kind of riff on certain subjects and have an advice segment.  I’m actually pretty excited about it. 

So, that’s it for now.  Let me know what you think of this blog/website.  If you like it, I’d love to hear it.  If you have suggestions, I can’t wait to ignore them.

I love you all.  Make me famous.


  1. Just testing the commenting function of Disqus. Ignore this. Like you usually do. You really don't appreciate me.

  2. Oh, my Slow Joe. How I have missed you. I've had to listen to this guy named Joe Simmons for a while now, but it just not the same. I like the "Donate" button. ;)

    -Jenn N Juice

  3. Jenn N Juice!! It's great to see you again. Yeah, I've been admiring this Jenn Studebaker chick from afar, but she's all mature and responsible and shit. I prefer the crazy ass Jenn N Juice anytime... ;-)

  4. I love that you mention free food twice on your "Thanks" page. Let me know when your first podcast goes up!

  5. I base all potential new friendships on how much possible free food I'll get out of it.


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