So What has That Lazy Blogger Been Doing, Anyway?

I apologize for the almost complete abandonment of this blog. A funny thing happens every time I try to crank this baby back up: life starts throwing tons o’ crap at me.

A lot of it is self-inflicted. I’m happy and excited to announce that I’ve been spending a significant amount of time lately creating and developing material specifically for stand-up comedy. I’ve actually tried writing material like this before, but I soon learned that it is very different from writing humor pieces. I struggled, got discouraged and gave it up for a while. However, something clicked in the last few weeks, and I’ve been writing like a madman.

Will I be successful? Who the hell knows. I could still bomb. In fact, a comedian friend of mine assured me that I will bomb…but that everyone does. At least I am having fun with it. I’m very excited about some of the material I’ve written. I just have NO idea if I have the talent to actually perform it.

I’m also the commissioner of a fantasy football league, which if you are not familiar with this, it’s when 10 or 12 idiots draft pro football players in order to win fictional games. As the Commissioner, I’m the Head Idiot. At least I make the rules.

I’m also a mortgage broker in a horrific real estate market, which for all intents and purposes makes me unemployed. At least that is what the income has been lately. As you can imagine, this has me scrambling for solutions as well.

So, with the stand-up crap, the fantasy football crap, and the mortgage crap, I am a seriously busy person for someone making $0 a month. However, I will try to get back here more often, especially after the draft is over. Meanwhile I have snuck over to MySpace and written four blogs since I last posted here. Why? I don’t know. All the blogs I post over there are kind of off-the-cuff spontaneous crazy stuff. Yet for some reason they always seem to turn out funny and get boatloads of comments. Maybe I should stick to random nutty blogs.

Anyway, here are the links to my most recent blogs:

Available for Hire: Top-Notch Applicant Eagerly Seeking Position for Non-Work

Are You Tied to an Electronic Leash?

A Blog About a Crappy Mortgage Market, Stand-up Comedy, and Commercials

Attention MySpace Photoshop Gurus (a Sort-of Contest)

Open Tryouts For the New Hottest Band in the World! (Fixed the Stupid Link)

Now that I've shown you how to get rich by doing absolutely nothing, I've developed a foolproof way to become an incredibly famous rock star--with groupies and everything--without ever recording any music!

See how you improve your life just by reading my stuff?

("Rock Star" link goes to my MySpace blog.)

My Big Contract Offer to Develop a Sitcom for NBC!!

Sorry for going blogless the last few days. Though, there IS a very good reason: I just received a phone call about developing a sitcom for NBC!!*




*New readers: the link goes to my MySpace blog.

"Phone Check!!"

Blogged on MySpace again. But before you go over there, you MUST read the following disclaimer:

WARNING: This blog entry contains genuine “guy talk”—the kind of conversation men absolutely NEVER have around women. If you are a woman and want to believe that men never have repartee like what you are about to read, turn away now. However, you would only be lying to yourself, because ALL men have these conversations.

Do you still want to go? Are you sure? Okay then, here's the link.



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A $100 Guarantee?

Sometimes, I have to bribe my readers.




(May look hauntingly familiar to some of my long-time readers.)

In Case You Were Wondering Where I Get My Ideas From...

Sometimes my body parts blog too.

(Possible adult language, including a talking, uh, appendage.)





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